Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Hello Baby Augustyniak!!!!!

// I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14 \\

Andrew and I are so excited to announce we are going to be parents coming February 2015!!!!!!!! It feels so amazing to get this out into the world! // it's not that fun keeping secrets // I am 10 weeks today, and we are just so beyond excited about this next chapter that has already started! I have some photos to show you of my last two months, I have had such a hard time blogging because all I want to talk about is the baby but then nobody really knew so I couldn't think of things to blog about! Obviously, when I posted this last post, Roarrrrrrrr, about the toughest most exhausting week of my life part of the reason was because I was also pregnant. Let me tell you, all I did that week, and went through while being exhausted in the first trimester was so difficult! I survived though! 

Now, I have to catch you up on the last two months! I don't even know where to start! I guess I'll start when we found out!

It was Friday May 23, 2014 and it was a typical morning I laid in bed for a bit and then got up to get ready for work. My period was a few days late, but my period is sometimes up to a week late so I figured I would test but I was prepared to be disappointed again. I took the test and took a photo as I was starting to see something and a faint line showed up!!!! 

I texted my friend Amanda a photo of the test, //she has a child so she is experienced in testing \\ and asked her if this could be what we had been waiting for! She told me to head right away to get a test that says pregnant or not pregnant so we would know for sure!

I went to Target by my house on my way to work and bought a test. Of course, I couldn't wait so as soon as I purchased it I ran into the bathroom and tested. I walked out to my car and waited for the results. Sure enough, I was pregnant! 

I went right away back into Target with the biggest smile on my face and bought a little gift I could run back home with and surprise Andrew! I found the perfect gift, and was over the moon and couldn't wait to share the news with him!

I even videoed his reaction!!!!

Makes me tear up every time I watch it! Such a special moment we will never forget!

I then had to leave to work, and was late of course, but thankfully I work for my dad and with my sisters. I had to keep it a secret thought because Monday was Memorial Day and we wanted to surprise our families then! It was SO hard not to tell them all that day at work. 

That day went by, and by the next day I started having my first pregnancy symptom. I was getting bad anxiety. People who have read my blog have known I have struggled with anxiety, but I have gotten it controlled by going to counseling and I have learned tools to handle it and deal with it. Back when it had gotten really bad before, birth control hormones were what made my anxiety heightened. Now that I was pregnant, my hormones were elevating every two days and were heightened and getting even more heightened. The anxiety would hit me about 3:30pm-4:00pm and would last till I went to sleep. It was so hard to deal with that day, and I was emotional and crying and just felt so scared that I felt like all the progress I had made, I had lost. I was feeling the same way I use to and it sucked feeling that way. We decided we would probably feel better if we told our families at least so we, specifically me, wouldn't have to deal with the anxiety and then the anxiety with having to hide it till Monday. // If you know me, you know I wear my heart on my sleeve, and pretty much everybody knows everything, I cannot act like I am not feeling a certain way. It was so hard not tell anybody! \\ So we did what we could do and figured out how we were going to surprise our families. We ran to Michael's and got some chalkboard easels and wrote away! 

I didn't take a photo of the one we gave Andrew's parents and Luke and Bela but here is what they said! Andrew's parents chalkboard said, "36 weeks until your third grandchild arrives!" and Luke and Bela's said "36 weeks until your baby cousin is here!"

When we walked into his sisters house, all the immediate family was there so we walked to the pool where they all were and pulled it out from behind our backs. They were so excited!!!!!! There were lots of hugs and kisses going around! 

We then went to my parents house and I had put the easel in my purse. I told mom we had got her something when we were at the store earlier and pulled it out. She read it and right away was screaming! Dad had tears in his eyes and once again there were hugs and kisses all around! We videoed it, it was just so exciting! After all, it is their first grandchild!!!! 

It was so exciting but was still having pretty bad anxiety. Luckily, I seemed to get a little bit of control of the anxiety. My time of "morning sickness" is in the afternoon which is also when the anxiety hits. We shortly figured out that if I eat a snack at 3:30-4:00, I wouldn't feel as sick to my stomach. // Thankfully I still haven't vomited, I just get really bad acid reflux at that time so it just makes me feel not the greatest. \\ The anxiety has been pretty persistent and still happens towards the end of the day but I have gotten a little bit more control of it. It isn't perfect, and it still really sucks, but it's not quite as bad as it was that first week or so. 

This was our first photo of the baby "bump" at 5 weeks!

Since this photo, we have changed how we are going to be showing the bump off. You will read the main reason down below, but the other reason is because Andrew and I just decided a way that would be better and represent us even better than this!

On the week of June 1st is when it was the week of my cousins wedding and all that craziness happened where you can read about it in this blog post...Roarrrrrrrr. While up there supporting my cousin Kylie as one of her bridesmaids, I started to get faint. I quickly sat down tried to cool off and went back up there shortly after. I was hoping not too many people noticed, but of course they did but it still all went perfect. That next day, after that exhausting week, I had to work the next day! At about 10:45am I got a excruciating pain in my lower abdomen in the bottom left quadrant. I was almost passing out from the pain. Luckily I was at my dad's office and I laid right down on the floor still in pain. Hopefully, this isn't TMI to you, because this reality so deal with it! As I was laying on the floor, I felt a gush of blood. My mom was already on here way to come pick me up and take me to the Dr. but now she was even more franticly trying to get there to pick me up. We rushed to the doctor, they fit me in and took a look. With the amount of blood I was loosing, they had prepared me for a miscarriage. They were gonna get me an ultrasound to confirm but they gave me the speech on miscarriages.

As we were sitting in the waiting room to be called back for the ultrasound, it felt pretty scary truthfully when I think back to it, but truthfully, there was a peace that had came over me at that point. I knew that God was going to take care of us. That whatever was supposed to happen would. If I was miscarrying, there was reason for it, and it was because it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I have never really felt a peace like that before. It was a beautiful feeling. We get called back, and they start the ultrasound. Thankfully, everything with baby was okay! It was still there. But they did find an abnormality. They found a subchlorionic hemorrhage. It is the most common abnormality to find on an ultrasound apparently, but it isn't all that common. I think the percentage of pregnancies with this is very low. 20% of pregnancies have bleeding, but I think it's something like 5% actually have a subchlorionic hemorrhage. 

Here is a photo of that first ultrasound and you can see the subchlorionic hemorrhage right over the sac to the right I beleive. We heard the heartbeat for the first time at this visit and it was 112!

They went over what will happen with this kind of clot. It can go away after the first trimester, it can stay the whole pregnancy. They don't know exactly what causes it and there is no way to get it to go away besides waiting it out. Cramping is normal because it is trying to get the blood out. I have had 4 bleeds so far. In-between that I have spotting. When I say bleeds, I mean bright red and a lot of it. Seems like I am bleeding out. No clots though that's one thing they said could happen but if they are a lot of clots it could be miscarrying. I am on pelvic rest, so can't do to many strenuous things like working out. // That's why I cannot take workout pregnancy photos anymore! \\ It kills me to not be working out! So to sum all of this subchlorionic hemorrhage thing up, I pretty much have a period while being pregnant... WOOHOO! It totally sucks, it's annoying, makes me feel like crap, makes me emotional and causes more anxiety, but as long as the baby is okay, I will take it!

Of course, I had to celebrate Father's Day for Andrew, I mean he is a soon to be father! I had to get something that was perfect for this time because the present couldn't be too serious yet! So I found these Arthur George Socks and they were perfect! Here is Andrew opening it on Father's Day! Obviously, I was so excited I couldn't wait for him to get out of bed! 

Here's an ultrasound photo from the second ultrasound. The heart rate was 140! Here's a photo, and a video of the heartbeat!!!

This is when my bump first kind of started to pop on June 18. We think because I am so skinny it started to show very early. It is smaller when I am hungry and bigger when I just eat so this was sometime after eating.

I know, I know, this post is going on forever. But bare with me, two months of my life I've had to keep quiet about all this stuff.

We went to San Diego for the Fourth of July and it went wonderfully! I was kind of nervous traveling with my anxiety while pregnant and still bleeding off and on because San Diego was really hard two years ago when my anxiety was at it's worst. I handled it all really well, but did start bleeding on Saturday which stunk. 

We took our announcement photos there! Here they are!!!!!!!

Shirt and onesie from Wonderfully Made

We have had the privilege of going to San Diego for the Fourth of July since we started dating. The photo on the left is July 2009. The photo on the right is July 2014. Oh, how much can happen in 5 years!!!

When we got back, we had another ultrasound to see how baby and subchlorionic hemorrhage are doing! All is well with baby and is growing big! The subchlorionic hemorrhage is also growing...started at 2cm and now is up to 5cm. We will continue praying that the clot will go away and not continue to get bigger!

Of course, there will more to come in the future as we continue on through this wonderful journey, but for now the post can finally be done! We cannot wait to hold you in our arms Baby Aug!

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